The doorman: Michaelangelo to see you, Your Holiness.
Pope: Who?
The doorman: The famous renaissance artist, whose best-known works include the ceiling of the Sixteenth chapel and the celebrated statue of David. In _____, he returned to Florence…
Pope: All right, that’s enough, they’ve got it now.
Michaelangelo: Good evenin‘, your Holiness.
Pope: Good evening, Michelangelo. I want to have a word with you about this painting of yours, the Last Supper.
Michaelangelo: Oh, yes?
Pope: I’m not ______ with it.
Michaelangelo: Oh dear, it took me hours!
Pope: No, not happy at all.
Michaelangelo: Is it the jello you don’t like?
Pope: Nope.
Michaelangelo: No, they add a bit of colour, don’t they? Oh I know, you don’t like the _______.
Pope: What kangaroo?
Michaelangelo: No problem, I’ll paint him out.
Pope: I never saw any kangaroo.
Michaelangelo: Well it’s right near the back. But, I’ll, I’ll paint it out, no sweat. I’ll make him into a disciple.
Pope: Ah.
Michaelangelo: What?
Pope: That’s the _________.
Michaelangelo: What is?
Pope: The disciples.
Michaelangelo: Are they too Jewish? I made Judas the most Jewish.
Pope: No, no, it’s just that there are twenty-eight of them.
Michaelangelo: Well, another one will never matter. So I’ll make the kangaroo into another one.
Pope: No, that’s not the ______.
Michaelangelo: Well, all right, all right, we’ll lose the kangaroo. Be honest, I wasn’t perfectly happy with it.
Pope: That’s not the point. There are twenty-eight disciples.
Michaelangelo: Too many?
Pope: Well, of course, it’s too many!
Michaelangelo: Yeah, I know that, but I wanted to give the impression of a real last supper. Not just any old supper, like the last meal of the final snack, but I wanted to make an impression of a mother of a blowout.
Pope: There were only twelve disciples at the Last Supper.
Michaelangelo: Well maybe some of the other ones came along.
Pope: There were only twelve disciples _______!
Michaelangelo: Well maybe some of their friends came by!
Pope: There were the twelve disciples and our Lord at the Last Supper. The Bible clearly says so.
Michaelangelo: No friends?
Pope: No friends.
Michaelangelo: Waiters?
Pope: No.
Michaelangelo: Cabaret?
Pope: NO!
Michaelangelo: Well you see, I like them. They flash out the scene. I could lose a few…
Pope: There were only twelve disciples…
Michaelangelo: I’ve got it! I’ve got it! We’ll call it the Last but one Supper.
Pope: What?
Michaelangelo: There must’ve been one. I mean, if there was a last one, there must have been one before that, so this is the ________ Supper. The Bible doesn’t say how many people were there, does it?
Pope: No, but…
Michaelangelo: Yeah, well there you are!
Pope: Look, the Last Supper is a significant event in the life of our Lord. The Penultimate Supper was not. Even if they had a conjurer and a Mariachi band. The Last Supper I commissioned from you, and a Last Supper I want. With twelve disciples and one Christ.
Michaelangelo: ONE?!?!
Pope: Yes, one! Now, will you please tell me what in God’s name possessed you to paint this with three Christs in it?
Michaelangelo: It works, mate!
Pope: Works?!
Michaelangelo: Yeah! It looks great! The fat one balances the two _____ ones!
Pope: There was only one Redeemer.
Michaelangelo: I know that. We all know that. But what about a bit of artistic license?
Pope: One Messiah is what I want!
Michaelangelo: I’ll tell you what you want, mate. You want a bloody ________! That’s what you want. I am a bloody creative artist.
Pope: I’ll tell you what I want: I want a Last Supper with one Christ, twelve disciples, no kangaroos, no trampoline in it by Thursday lunch, or you don’t get paid!
Michaelangelo: BLOODY FASCIST!
Pope: Look, I’m the bloody Pope! I may not know much about art, but I know what I like!
Missing words: 1514, happy, kangaroo, problem, point, altogether, penultimate, skinny, photographer